I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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