Ambien. No doubt about it.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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