pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
