she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
