If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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