I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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