The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
