I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
