bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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