I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
