I think my vagina is haunted
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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