after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
