omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you would pick up someone in the library
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
