dude i'm inner monologue high
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
