If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
