You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
