so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
