nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
