Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
