Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
