everyone is single if you try hard enough
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
