hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
