oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
