exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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