So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
