Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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