I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
