My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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