Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
