Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
