I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
