please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
