Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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