i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
