I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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