whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
