Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Fuck appropriateness.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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