Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
