Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
