I bet he comes in French.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
