please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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