Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
