dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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