she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
