So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
