Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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