just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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