better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
