All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
