did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
